Revision

That last post was kind of a load of crap. The truth is, I am very sad about leaving college precisely because it taught me so much. These past few months I have clung tightly to the title of "college student" despite the fact that I am only taking one class and am working a full time job. I don't know that I can write eloquently about leaving just yet-after all I haven't really left. Instead, here are a few lists that will perhaps give you insight into my final farewell.

Things about Eastern I thought I would never miss, but actually kind of do
1. Going to classes-especially my THC ones.
2. Writing papers-especially non-science ones.
3. Writing all of my lab reports in my bed.
4. SODEXHO! aka the cafeteria-seriously, I miss it.
5. Not having a car. Walking everywhere was great, even when the hems of my pants got wet and torn.

Things I wish I had done, but didn't
1. Gone to "Windows on the World" on Friday mornings
2. Done more independent research in the lab
3. Gotten to know my professors
4. Participated in campus and THC activities
5. Completed more of my required reading

Simple things I will never forget
1. Josh throwing a frisbee into my foot the first day of college
2. David and Redmond hiding in the bushes, spying when someone came to visit me
3. Cardboard-boxing Weston's car, tape-ball wars, spinning chair races, the parachute man, and other silly things we did to pass the time.
4. Almost getting arrested at Valley Forge.
5. Nora and I talking on the soccer field late at night freshman year.
6. Running Broadstreet-and all the training that led up to that.
7. Running cup with Tommy and David at Houghton.
8. Chick-fil-a and bad-movie-Friday
9. Sunday mornings at First Pres
10.Frisbee bonfire at my house
11. Timmy, Mike, and Jason yelled at for saying "I want to ride a cheetah" because clearly they are too fragile
12. Allison giving me a hug the first time I really cried in front of her
13. Falling in love with Jason
14.Justin Feathers' lay out score at Bloomsburg
15. "That's what she said", "In this movie you would be...", and other conversations routinely held by the frisbee team.

Gifts Eastern gave me that I could never repay
1. Providing a sense of community and belonging. Arriving at Eastern was the first time I felt wanted by my peer group.
2. Setting me on the path of discipleship for Christ. I was pretty lost when I got there.
3. Teaching me not only the importance of subjects outside my discipline, but also teaching me to love those subjects outside my discipline.
4. Making it easy for me to study abroad.
5. Providing the right time and place for me to meet my friends-especially Jason

People at Eastern who changed my life
1. Dr. Yonan: for letting me doubt and complain, but for not allowing that to get in the way of my growth
2. Allison: for being my roommate for 3 years and all that that entails
3. David: for sticking with me no matter what, and helping realize the Bible isn't so scary
4. All my science professors: for believing in me and setting the bar high
5. The frisbee team: for providing support and friendship, and for showing me how to be a part of something bigger than myself
6. Jason: for opening up my eyes to a world beyond the picket fence, and getting me to be excited about it.

Obviously my time at Eastern is bigger, better, and more amazing than I could fit into 5 lists. I will miss more than what I miss now and I may regret more than I currently regret. And certainly the memorable moments and people extend far beyond what I have included here. For a recent (or almost-recent) college grad, I think it's difficult to imagine life "beyond the dorms". Or perhaps it's easy to imagine, but difficult to be excited about. I realize that for the the next few months I will have many moments of longing for the past 4 years, but I also acknowledge that those moments will become fewer, and that excitement for the future will take its place. And so to embrace this excitement I will end with one final list:

Things that I am amazingly, incredibly, un-restrainedly excited for
1. Changing the world through my vocation
2. Spending the rest of my life with Jason
3. Hiking, swimming, running, and other outdoor activities that I can do this summer
4. Continuing to learn and grow in my faith
5. Being able to request skim-milk, egg whites, or turkey burgers without being made fun of :)

Things I didn't learn in college

In exactly one month, I will graduate from Eastern University. As I was hiking tonight, a song played on my iPod, and a particular line stuck in my head. The artist cried out, "Teach me the truth I never learn in college". I didn't really expect the past four years to give me all the answers-but I did kinda expect college to tell me the questions of life and then set me free to find out the answers for myself. So I go through the Templeton Honors College, and I study abroad, and I write a billion papers-all to discover that I didn't even touch some of life's biggest questions (or at least not in a practical way)

I hit the world, and the world hit me back. Suddenly, I'm faced with questions like "Who am I? Where am I supposed to be? and finally-Is this what life is really all about?" College didn't really give me these answers. And despite all the classic Greek philosophy and Church fathers, none of these topics were used to address what I was going to do when I left. (Me, My, I, ME ME ME-yes I know that last statement is self centered and ridiculous, but it's also true.) I'm floundering a little bit, trying to come to grips with the fact that I actually have to answer these questions.

I realize that these questions won't be answered in a day, a week, or even a year. But here is what I have come up with so far.
1. I do not need to wait around until God reveals what His plan is for me. That's not His job. He gave us the Bible as a guide book to how to be fully human, and as for the specifics? Well I have been given many gifts and the power of reason-together those things will point me in the right direction.
2.I am not too young to be "me at my fullest" right now. I'm not waiting to be older. I was given enough time to live exactly once-I'm not wasting it waiting around waiting for the time society dictates I can be the most influential.

The tragedy is, most of us won't find our "perfect place". But here the beauty out weighs the tragedy. Despite the fact that we are imperfectly fit-we can still be fulfilled and joyful. It is possible to bring glory, to introduce the Kingdom of Heaven to earth even though everything isn't perfect. The pressure isn't in finding where I'm supposed to be, the pressure is found in taking advantage of where i am.