And what is it to work with love?
It is to weave the cloth with threads drawn from your heart,
even as if your beloved were to wear that cloth.
-Kahlil Gibran
Here I am, once again an unemployed college student. It's as if only yesterday I were wrestling with the transition from college student to scientist. And now, in a way, it's time for me to transition back. Today was my final day of work. And I cried. I cried a lot. I cried last night and I cried the moment my foot crossed the threshold of the research building this afternoon. I've never been good at letting go.
My experience in that lab as taught me so much--about science, about relationships, and about myself. I'm so blessed to have had a job that I absolutely loved and that was incredibly rewarding. I often spent my long commute thanking God for this opportunity and asking for the wisdom and courage to return those blessings. I grappled with the question, "How could I possible show those around me how thankful I am and how much they mean to me?". What this all boils down to is the classic question, "What does it really mean to love someone?".
In just one short year I have been shown such an out pouring of love and my seeming inability to return that love weighs on me. After much thought, I came up with a catch phrase that could help keep me focussed on loving people.
Love is cleaning up dog poop when everyone else is asleep.
As you may image, this revelation came to me one evening when my dog pooped in the house and everyone else was asleep. I knew if I left it there, my mom would clean it up in the morning. But to love someone means you don't ignore the dog crap on the carpet. To love someone means consistently putting his/her needs before your own and expect nothing in return. I love the way Kahlil Gibran puts it. He basically says to work as if you are serving or creating something for the love of your life.
The wonderful thing I learned at my job is that by working with love, you come to really love your work. I'm not an incredibly open person and am slow to form relationships, but by working with love I found that I genuinely enjoyed getting to know my coworkers. And I enjoyed them getting to know me. Leaving at the end of the day really broke my heart because I have become so invested in the project and the people I spent many years working for.
What an incredible blessing that lesson is. The timing couldn't be better. As I look forward to marrying Jason, I look forward to picking up his dog crap (Well, hopefully that doesn't happen literally. Our apartment has a "no pet" policy and I'm pretty sure Jason has been potty trained). I know it will be difficult, but the great thing about Jason is that he is willing to pick up my dog crap, too. We make a good pooper-scooper team. :)
PS. And maybe I'm excited about working in a new lab in graduate school, but I don't think I have the emotional capacity to mull that over yet.
